Sunday, 28 December 2014

Ups and Downs

I cannot stress enough how important it is that we all recognize this pattern of ups and downs.

This is why:

During the 'downs' our negative thoughts grow larger and outweigh our positive thoughts. Once in this state our judgement becomes cloudy and we start to doubt ourselves.

It happens to all of us, including me. What is important is to spot this 'down' for what it is; a temporary depression and something we will soon be out of.

The problem I see, is a lot of guys don't spot it and make rash decisions in desperation, which can lead to bigger problems.

One solution to a 'down' period is to look back at your earlier posts and see how far you've come. Once you see the bigger picture, you also see the pattern and you see the 'down' for what it is.

It could be said that even a bad relationship is simply one of the knock-backs we all experience and that it is just as vital to experience these and learn from them as it is to experience other issues such as opening or isolating for example. It's just a shame they take so long and can cause so much pain when they end. I guess the bigger the mistake, the bigger the lesson.

The key is to learn from all of these mistakes to ensure that "each time you get a bit better".

Nevertheless, there is an equilibrium point, when you get an 85% result and throwing the dice again means you are much more likely to get a result lower than that.

The higher you aim, the harder you have to work to get there- it is exponential, not linear, because of the normal distribution.


In layman's terms.

Say you are dating a 9 who is a doctor, driving a fast car, younger than you and knows how to ride a stripper pole.

What are your chances of dating another girl, more attractive (say 10) with > job, >car, > intellect and knows how to ride a stripper pole?

In this case, if your 9 isn't giving you lip or making problems, you should probably stick with a good thing while it's going. That is, if you are into monogamous relationships and looking to settle down,.

There comes a point where you burn time rolling the dice again looking for a "better deal" when you already have a fantastic deal in front of you. I think staying with a fantastic deal (even if there is better out there) is a good way to show gratitude to the universe and humility to yourself. You can get yourself killed by being too greedy, by forgetting to be grateful.

Tuesday, 23 December 2014

A word on "Value"

Value' as a concept is relative to each person. The 'value' of a woman (or a relationship with any person) is different for each person observing her. You look at a woman and you place some value on her. That value, if it could be quantified, would be different for every person.

A guy who is already in a happy relationship might not value her very highly because he isn't looking for a girlfriend. A guy who's been single for a long time and is actively looking for a relationship might value her more highly.

This is where the mindset of abundance comes in. If you have 10 girls who want to date you, are you going to be very bothered if one of them finds a different boyfriend and stops showing interest in you? Probably not.

However, if only one girl is interested in you and she finds someone else, it will have a greater negative effect on you.

Supply and demand.

So to answer your question succinctly, no there's nothing else you can do. Have more women in your life.

But to add in a bit more practical advice - my own experience is that if you're trying to meet all your women through cold approaches, it's tough to cultivate enough of them at any one time. I recommend that you build a 'home base' social group which has women in it. That way you'll always have a source of female company even if you haven't met too many girls at bars or whatever. Hunting and farming.